"I’m mentally drained and physically tired from all these fights we keep having every other day. I don’t know if sorry would cut it or has it already lost its meaning. I’m a terrible person with extreme moodswings and crazy expectations of our relationship that’ll be our downfall one day. But I hope not. I can’t handle another heartbreak again, and this will be much, much worse. With whatever little hope I have left, I pray that this will all pass away and through this, we’ll learn to treasure each other more."
Exactly this. Not true about the extreme moodswings part but crazy expectations yes. And no, I can handle a heartbreak, I just hope we don't have to.
There are a lot going around about this video, how it made couples feel depressed and got affected after watching it. I agree, it makes couples uncertain about how their relationship will go and how true the whole process is.
It actually made me really emotional after watching it the second time. I couldn't decide whether it's an inspiration to couples breaking up or making it work. But at the last 2 parts of the video, it makes the most sense to me. Or rather it touched me the most. It's all the same, how once she can be so certain that he was her tomorrow and the next, all he is is her yesterday, because people change, people move on, and all that's left are fragments of memory.
The last part he said "If life separates us and we end up in totally different places, we'll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time. And I'll be thankful for that. And hope that wherever you are, you'll be thankful too. And I think that's the best we can hope for."
I don't want that. That's not the good enough for me, that's not the best I want us to hope for. I never want you to be my yesterday. I cannot imagine my tomorrow without you. I won't allow you to become just fragments of images in my head. I know the future is ever so uncertain, but we have now, we have at least a couple of months that we are certain of, and you are in mine. You're in my present and tomorrow, and the next couple of months I'm certain that I'd live for. I know it has been rough on us but I never see our relationship to be those that would end after 2years or even 3. And I believe that's enough, for us to make it work. That we'd never get tired of trying, cause we love each other.
He asked her to trust again, believe in what they both first saw their future held. To only come around and crash it all down for her in the next 24 hours. Was it a lie or just an insensitive part of him. After 429 days he tells her that he is lost in how to basically communicate and treat her, but he still loves her.
She knows it was her fault to constantly try to hurt him as bad as he hurt her in the slightest mistakes he made. She promised to make it work, if both of them tried, it's possible.
But the cycle continues.
Where is this love.
I have decided, from this moment on, nothing moves in me. I will give you what you have been looking for me, other than that, nothing moves.
1. Camera 2. Wallet 3. Learn Driving, Stop Procrastinating (cause hearing your dad nag isn't a good thing) 4. Macbook 5. Prepare myself for koala to go into army (going to buy our tiger a soldier shirt) 6. Prepare myself for uni
I don't even know whether I should go into UOL or even to start uni in august. Feeling so unprepared for this whole adulthood life. Should I just be strong and leave to study for 3years, or stay here and just take whatever comes my way. To be honest, I am not as ready as I thought I would be especially having a boyf now (okay he's just an excuse for me not leaving, I am still quite dependent on my mom). Maybe I should just go to University of Manchester, at least my aunt is there, but I hate troubling people. I guess I agree with what people close to me say, I want life to come in the simplest easiest form ever. Money dropping from sky, books to read themselves, applications to submit themselves, life to set out a path for me like google maps. But of course, it will never be that way. Like now, I'm simply too lazy to move my lazy arse to go to bed and sleep.
But now all in my mind is for June to come, to go for all the trips we've booked for. Taking SQ to Bangkok hahahaha wisest choice ever! Honestly, I doubt I am prepared for uni at all. I should just try SIA or get a full time job at some bank till I sort out what I want to do, hopefully by end of this year to apply for uni next year.
Your ability to make me upset easily, makes me take my hat off you. Before you, I never thought my tears are capable of falling this often, matter fact, I never thought I can be this emotional at all. This huge space between us, the lack of love gestures, the slow and emotions-filled actions, have never been possible with you. Enough of trying to pull off being perfect, it was never what I am hoping for, now it feels like I am back at square one. Where I have never believed in love.
Sweetest post I have seen today.
"Something you never knew
There was one evening that i was really tired. Eyes half-shut, nodding off beside you. You told me to go to sleep first, so i crept under the covers and did just that. But i was a light sleeper, always been, and i woke when i felt your weight on the other side of the mattress. I was too drowsy to open my eyes, so i kept them shut, waiting for you to turn off the lights, and go to sleep. The strange thing was, you didn’t. Neither did i feel you slipping beneath the covers as gently and as quietly as you could. All i felt was your weight beside me, unmoving for a little while. Then i felt your fingers smooth over my cheek, and your hand brush away the hair from my face, tucking it softly behind my ear. You stopped there. Your hand was resting at that little spot on my neck, the one where you always hold when you lean in for a kiss. I could hear you breathing. And you were quiet for a little while more before you planted a little kiss on my forehead.
I had never felt so loved.
Lights off, and your fingers were weaving between the gaps of mine. We fell asleep together like that. Holding hands."
Taking that one step closer to the fall Do you really float or fall right through that thin water vapor formed object I believe we can sit up there and munch on it and it'd taste exactly we think it would, cotton candy!
I'm a tequila-whore. Ladies night with the sogirls at zirca last night, thank god for ivan that we don't have to queue ;) Crazy night crazy fun, you girls are so much fun and lovely to party and to work with! But will still trade it anytime for you gillybear and stace-face (so don't be jealous haha). I miss you girls so freaking much! Can't wait for the end of may to come, and from then all the way till july will be rock 'n' roll!
Oh on a sadder note, I lost my camera in the club last night! It's was only one-year old with all my precious memories in it (although I already uploaded them, but privacy). The reason why I bought a camera then was to capture moments of the boy and I, such a sentimental item :( Should I get back the same model - Canon IXUS 210, or like look for others? I'm not camera-savvy although I wish to be, so I don't think I should invest in THAT much a good one. But I haven't seen any as awesome and lovely looking as mine, I loveeee the huge touchscreen interface about it, and it looks so sleek! How?! Silly wanted to buy me a new camera but I refused, so now he says he wants to share the camera hahahaha shareee. Always so sweet <3
That sour feeling in my heart and stomach expressed on my face. That's how much I miss you. Going to have the WHOLE weekend with you, finally after I think 3-4weeks of not having the weekends together.
How I look after that 3/4 bag of spicy nachos. Wayy to lose 2kg.
Diet Plan Wed - Waffle, Apple, Froyo, Dinner with B Thurs - Ham Sandwich, Apple, Froyo, Fish Soup Fri - Ham Sandwich, Seaweed Chicken, Apple, Dinner with B Sat - Ham Sandwich, Banana, Tori Q, Dinner with B Sun - Light lunch, Dinner at Aunt's
Determination to lose 3kg in a week!! I believe some of my weight is water weight, considering how much water I've been drinking lately. I think working at Sogurt makes me fat. Overdose of froyo.
Will be flying off on the last week of may to Jarkata, for WORK! Isn't that insanely fun?! N's mom is going to fly us over to help her with her event, but I'll be working at the office while he's going to be working at the event. But it's okay, we can get the nights out! Getting paid to go overseas! AWESOME!
LADIES NIGHT TOMORROW WITH THE SOGIRLS! <3 Been awhile since I clubbed, wish gill would come back soon.
