Four in the morning, with parts of my broken heart,
and certainly not with a clear mind.
I feel that I've became the immature version of myself which I hate,
a part of me desperately searching for old me.

I know you're clueless, I know.


"Maybe it's because I want to cry because I will never be able to fix everything that so desperately needs repair. Maybe it's because I, myself, am so far beyond repair. Maybe it's because I'm always feeling trapped. But whatever it is that's making me want to live has settled inside of me and it won't calm down till my hands are in the air and I'm running, running nowhere and everywhere as fast as I can. I just want to run, to live, maybe it's the greying hope for the future. Maybe it's the teenage angst, the desire to get away. Or maybe, just maybe, its because I'm destined for something more than this."


He always says that he doesn't get what tumblr is for, it's just reblogging of photos. I didn't know how to explain this special thing to him either. But today I've realized.. It is about searching for myself. Tumblr is about searching yourself.

#storyofmylife

"Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and not lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for."


People kept telling me that I'm too skinny these days. I don't understand, when I was chubbier they told me I would look nicer if I were a little skinnier. But now they are telling me I would look better if I am slightly fatter. What I really don't understand is, what they are talking about is MY body, not just that, it's ME. So.. what is all these?

It has always been, within us,
this vulnerability, we can't explain.
Telling ourselves repeatedly,
but time after time it's that vulnerability at heart.


I can even scores with the best of them
I can leave my innocence at bay
You can turn your back on my sincerity
But don't, not in front of me.

Never.
Why.

Every period is momentary
But I'm hoping against the super-moon
that the better ones will last longer


Finally booked our trip! Still got 2 more trips not booked yet.
Feeling so psyched that I went home and googled all the hotels I'm gonna be staying in and that HUGE awesome new themepark that opened only last year and and all the street food zomg I'm coming back with 10pounds extra everywhere.

Take a breather.

It's obvious that we're hanging on a thread
With this growing exhaustion between us
Never occurred that we'd turn out this way
judging from the craziness and passion we started with

'I think it's rude to stick a smile on your face and pretend you like talking to someone when in reality you'd rather be sticking bamboo slivers under your fingernails."
— Jodi Picoult (House Rules)


I finally got a part-time job to save my pathetic bank account and for June holidays shopping! Hoping they'd be able to give me more days to work. I just figured it'll be a real rush to travel 4 countries in a month, once I get back to Singapore I'd have to fly out again in 2days. Still deciding whether we should save Phuket for another time.

Suffering from cramps now, no cravings for chocolates yet - it should be kicking in tomorrow. Tried to sleep it off but it's not working, in the end the cure was a book. Guess it's always the best companion for anything.

Can't wait for Marcus to be back from his Europe tour so we can all meet up and go have supper soon tsk! And also will have to meet up with the girls soon (but we're always so lazy to get out of our house).

Gonna read my book watch HBO and eat my chicken wings now.