Just a day. A day with my loved ones, a day with myself, made me realised how much I've missed. Since the start of sunrise, the plattering of heavy raindrops outside my window tried to put me back to sleep, physically and mentally, I simply didn't want to get up.

I noticed that tiny black bird standing tall on a road sign above a jam-packed highway, over the skyline of singapore. Wish I had my camera with me then, it was such a beautiful sight. Surprising myself, I didn't noticed it is the world cities summit already - I always had a thing for world or national events, it's as though it pulls everyone together, make us one, like violence and crime and wars have never existed. Passing by my usual route to work, for certain queer reasons, everytime the car passes by PSA, I get so amazed by the mega-sizes container trucks going in and out. Maybe due to my petite size, anything huge or extremely tiny amazes me. That reminds me of how everytime the boy says my stuffed animals are adnormally shaped just because it's tiny to him.

I'd never forget the way his dark eyes look, and how brown it shines under the sun. The way he plays with my fingers, saying how my hands are like baby hands in his. The look on his face when he gets excited over things he had done in the day, or wants to do. That smile on his innocent face which obviously to him is just a smile, not know how that smile of his brightens up my whole world. How I love sleepovers the weekends cause it's almost the best thing in the world to wake up beside him. How I'm always the one waking up earlier, and irritates him with all the snuggling cause I just can't keep still when I'm awake. He doesn't say it, but I know haha. I love how all these things brings a smile to my face even when I'm thinking about it. How I'd never forget how we started out as two crazy teenagers that took the leap with each other, asking silly questions to reassure ourselves, not knowing what are the right things to do, the right things to say, to react.

It's never about the right things. I used to think it'd be like the past, no strings attached, always the carefree person that people know me as. Because indeed I am, was always carefree. No one breaks my heart. Simply no one was dear enough to me in order to break mine. And now it's all different. I supposed no one was important enough to me for me to take that leap in the past, no one special enough for me to give my heart to to break. Don't blame it on yourself when I constantly want out, it's just too much of a habit to me, thinking it'd be like how it was in the past. No strings. No broken heart. None. It's simply.. special now.

Forgive me, I'm just a coward afterall.

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